Pieces Preview

Pieces should be available for purchase later today or tomorrow on Amazon. Here's the preview I promised last weekend but didn't get done. For those of you desperate to see Sadie rise above her demons, you may find some of that in this installment. However, real life cannot be fixed in the pages of one book. Most alcoholics and addicts suffer for years before they are able to be well. The same applies to victims of domestic violence. The average abused woman will leave her abuser seven times before she's had enough. And let's not forget the the alcoholics, addicts, and abused woman who do not survive for these reasons. I believe in Sadie, and I hope you do to. Her story is a beautiful one, and I promise you, it has a beautiful ending. 

Book Summary: 

The pieces of Sadie’s life are falling from her heart like rain, and she doesn’t even care. Having lost so much in such a short period of time, she wonders if she’ll ever feel whole again. Then Ryan strips her of one of the biggest pieces of herself.

Ryan is tired of picking up the pieces Sadie keeps dropping of herself. No one seems to realize that every time she loses a piece of herself, his pieces fall out of place as well. Something has to change. Somehow, he needs to keep things in order.

Trevor trails behind Sadie, picking up every piece she drops. He has to be the opposite of Ryan to gain her affection, but at what price? When she begins to take up a piece of his heart, he knows a fragile line has been crossed, and there’s no turning back.

Torn between the promises she made to Alex and all she feels for Corey, Jenny isn’t sure which piece of her heart to pick up and which to leave lying on the ground. She reaches out to Sadie for advice, but it takes more than that to realize what she really wants.

Corey didn’t just give Jenny a piece of his heart; he gave her the whole thing. Despite not knowing who Jenny will choose, he gives her all he can give. When he realizes his all might not be enough, he resorts to desperate measures.

In this third installment of The Fragile Line series, Mile 258 starts to get noticed and their future brightens, as long as the guys can keep the pieces of their lives fitting neatly together and not overlapping one another. Fragile lines will be crossed, invisible strings will be strung.  

Something from the beginning:

Sadie Montgomery rested her head on Ryan’s chest, listening for his heartbeat. Sometimes she wasn’t sure he had a heart, so it was reassuring to hear it.

He played absently with her blonde curls. She lived for these moments. When he was silent, his hands soft, love seeming to be an emotion he knew and felt.

She forgot what a normal relationship looked like- not that she ever had one- until Corey and Jenny got serious. He always smiled at Jen, said sweet things, held her hand, offered to do things for her. Sadie wondered why that couldn’t be her. Not that she wanted to be with Corey, she just wanted Ryan to treat her that way.

“Baby, have you talked to your lawyer lately?” Ryan asked.

“Not since Wednesday.” Sadie was suing her old employer for sexual harassment after being fired. She claimed her boss said she could keep her job after failing a drug test in exchange for sex.  

“What was the offer again?”

“One-twenty-five. He thinks I should hold out for at least two.”

He sighed. “We need money now though.”

She sat up, narrowed her eyes. “If it were up to me, I’d hold out for ownership of this county. And since I’ll never have any dignity or self-respect, I think I’ll wait until the money makes me think I can buy self-worth.”

His expression softened. “I didn’t mean anything. Chill out.”

She stood, picked up her near-empty drink. “What you meant was you can’t take care of me and you need my money to do what you should be able to do on your own.” She went to the kitchen, seething, so sick of his inability to take care of her. Especially after all she had done for him.

After filling half her glass with vodka and topping it off with Sprite, she returned to the living room. Dropping to the couch, she took a long drink. Before she got comfortable, he pulled her long blonde hair, jerking her head back. She cried out from the pain.

“Watch your mouth.” He let go of her, pushed her to the other side of the couch. “I’m as sick of being here as you are.” They’d been staying at Trevor and Corey’s apartment for weeks now, ever since their furnace went out.

She scoffed, pulled her body into the fetal position. “Do something about it then.”

He glared at her, and then turned his focus back to the TV. She waited a few minutes before grabbing her drink. She sipped until half the glass was nearly empty. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. Warmth grew throughout her body. She drank at a steady pace all day and only sucked down her drinks quickly when she wanted to escape. When she crossed from her constant buzz to actually being drunk, Ryan didn’t seem as mean, her life didn’t seem as hopeless, and Aaron didn’t seem as dead.

When she opened her eyes, he was staring at her. She stared back, finishing her drink. “I don’t understand why I love you so much,” he said. 

She rolled her eyes. “Because you’ve known me so long you feel obligated to.” He told her that once. They had known each other their whole lives, their parents being friends, attending the same school and church.

He chuckled. “No, what I said was I’ve known you so long it would be impossible not to love you.”

“Same thing.”

“It’s not, but whatever.”

Their eyes held, and gone was the moment when he pulled her hair. “So why do you love me so much? ‘Cause it seems like you hate me.”

His mouth formed a straight line. “Did you seriously just say that?”

She smiled sweetly, but said nothing.

He moved on top of her, her empty glass fallen to the floor, holding her down. His huge hands pinned her arms above her head.

She kicked him. “Stop!”

He brought one of his hands to her throat. “Look, I know you want to die. You want me to kill you, and that’s why you keep picking fights with me. It’s not gonna work. I’m not gonna rot in jail for your stupid ass. So, if you want to keep pissing me off, then you’re gonna deal with my anger, no matter how I dish it out.”

She was unfazed, partly because she was suddenly drunk, partly because nothing he did scared her. “So, what’re you gonna do?”

*

Jenny Boston stared at the little gold ring of hearts in her jewelry box and wondered how she could word an email to end her relationship with Alex Starr. He couldn’t have really thought she would wait two years, could he?

            She tried to remember what had made her love him, but she could barely recall the sound of his voice. His face she remembered, thanks to photographs. His blond hair, blue eyes, tanned skin. She couldn’t remember how his eyes looked when he said he loved her. The feeling of his lips on hers was gone. The scent of his skin, gone.

            All of it had been replaced by new memories. Fresh ones every bit as deep as the ones Alex had given her.

            She pulled the ring out of her jewelry box and returned it to her left ring finger, remembering how it signified a love that would never end. But like a fire without a flame, time had turned her love for Alex to embers that might never be relit.

            At the sound of the apartment door opening, Jenny took off the ring and dropped it back into the jewelry box. She went into the living room to see her mom taking off her coat, dropping her purse to the couch.

            At twenty-four years old, Jenny lived with her mom again.

            “Hi, Mom.”

            “Well, hello stranger. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

            Jenny smiled, amused. She spent nearly every moment she wasn’t at work with Corey. Most nights she slept in his bed, enveloped in his arms. “Sadie and Ryan are staying at Corey’s, and I can’t handle it anymore.” She paused. “So, he’s coming over here. I’m making spaghetti.”

            Her mom nodded. “Ah. I see.” She hung her coat, turned back to Jenny. “Are you upset Ryan didn’t leave Sadie for you?”

            Jenny laughed. “Not even close.” Her mom eyed her cautiously, maybe wanting more explanation. “Their furnace is broken, so they’ve been staying over there until they get it fixed. There’s nothing between me and Ryan, and Sadie and I are friends.”

            “Never thought I’d hear you say that.” Her mom went to the fridge and removed a can of soda. “So, I’m finally gonna meet this Corey guy?”

            Jenny glanced at the clock. “Yeah, he’ll be here soon.” She turned on the pot of water to start boiling the pasta. The sauce had been simmering for half an hour, the salad tossed, garlic bread ready for the oven. “But I haven’t told him about Angel.” She caught her mom’s eye. “And I don’t need a lecture. When the time is right, I will.”

            “She’s your daughter. You shouldn’t be ashamed.”

            “I’m not.” She stared at the pot of water while her mom went to the living room.

            While she waited for the water to boil, she went back to her bedroom and gathered up the photos decorating her room and placed them on her closet shelf. The last thing she needed were the faces of Alex and Angelica staring back at her, reminding her of all her secrets and lies.

            This made her feel like she was betraying her daughter, like she was ashamed.  At this point, after more than a year of being around Corey, not to mention having known Sadie and Ryan for ten years, how could she tell them she had a daughter living in Springfield she couldn’t take care of?

            A knock on the door prompted Jenny to close her closet and move into the living room where her mom had opened the door. There stood Corey, still in his work clothes, a duffle bag over his shoulder, looking as beautiful as a late summer sunset. His pale blue eyes sparkled, his smile warm. In his hands was a small bouquet of carnations.

            “You must be Corey. I’m Tammy.”

            He held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Tammy.” He offered the flowers. “These are for you.”

            Tammy moved from the doorway, flowers in hand, to let him inside. “Jenny, get a vase.” She followed Jenny into the kitchen, leaving Corey in the living room. “He’s friends with Ryan?”

            “Only by obligation. They play in that band together.” She poured the pasta into the boiling water; put the garlic bread in the oven.

            It was one of the few Friday nights Corey’s band, Mile 258, didn’t have a show. After dinner, where Tammy inquired a million things of Corey, he and Jenny disappeared to her bedroom. They changed from their work clothes into shorts and t-shirts.

            “What’s everyone else doing tonight?” Jenny asked.

            “Don’t know. Don’t care.” He pulled a bottle of Malibu rum from his bag. “Got cups?”

            She giggled, went to the kitchen, grabbed a deck of cards from the junk drawer, and two small juice glasses. “Go fish?” she asked when she returned.

            “Same rules?”

            “Sure.” The rules were if you had to “go fish” you also had to take a shot of liquor.

            They were sitting on her bedroom floor near the foot of her bed. A bedside lamp illuminated the room. A few go fishes into the game, Jenny felt heat in her cheeks. She got up and pushed the “play” button on her CD player while Corey got his third go fish. Shania Twain filled the air.

            “Seriously? Country? I thought you were a rock ‘n roll girl.”

            She laughed. “There are lots of things you don’t know.” His expression hardened. “Besides, Shania is a crossover artist, don’t you think?”

            “Yeah, to pop. Another genre that sucks.” He looked at his cards. “You have a five?”

            She had a five, but wanted him to feel a buzz like hers. “Go fish.”

            He narrowed his icy blue eyes, but took a card from the pile, then drank the shot.

             “Do you have a five?”

            He looked at his deck of cards for a moment, before realizing what happened. “Hey, that’s cheating!” He tossed the card at her.

            “How about a king?”

            Without even looking at his cards he said, “Go fish.” He poured more than a shot into her glass. “Drink up.”

            She did.

            The game continued this way for a while-- both of them lying about their cards, forcing the other to drink.

            “Let’s up the ante,” he said. “Let’s do a truth or dare when you get a go fish, along with the shot.”

            She considered this in her intoxicated mind. A dare she could handle; a truth, not so much. “Ok, fine.”

And of course, when she asked for a jack on her turn, he poured her a shot. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

He handed her the glass of rum. “I dare you to take off your shirt.”

“Seriously? When did this become strip poker?”

He chuckled. “You want truth?”

Without contemplating, she said, “Sure.”

He licked his lips, waited for Jenny to drink her shot. “Have you broken up with Alex yet?”

Their eyes met and held. It had been three weeks since she took off Alex’s ring; two weeks since she and Corey had crossed the fragile line out of friendship and into something more. But, no, Jenny hadn’t technically broken up with Alex.

She heaved a sigh and pulled her t-shirt over her head.

“Jenny…”

“Don’t.”

He looked at his cards, the pain written on his face. “It’s your turn.”

“Do you have a…kiss?”

“Go fish.”

“I don’t know what to say. I mean, how am I supposed to break up with someone in an email?” She picked up her t-shirt and put it back on.

“Dear Alex, I’ve met someone else and he lives here, not in Pakistan. Sorry about your luck. Sincerely, Jenny.”

She stifled a laugh. “It’s Tajikistan. And it’s not that easy. We made promises to each other.”

After a moment, he asked, “Do you have a jack?”

Absentmindedly, she tossed him the jack. “Cheater.”

“That’s what Alex will be calling you if you don’t break up with him.”

“You’re an ass.”

He smiled. “Like you didn’t know.”

“Do you have an ace?”

He tossed her the card. “Are you mad?”

“If I wasn’t drunk I might be.”

“You’re drunk?”

“Just a little.”

He leaned toward her. “Truth or dare?’

“I didn’t have a go fish!”

“You’re not drunk!” He looked at his cards. “Do you have a ten?”

“Go fish!” She poured rum into his glass. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

She realized there was only one thing she wanted to know. “Did you sleep with Sadie?”

Something from the middle: 

“Pull your hair up so it doesn’t get in the food,” Ryan told Sadie. They were in their little kitchen. He was going to show her how to make pancakes.

“I thought you liked my hair down.”

“I don’t like it in my food.”

“I won’t put it in the food.”  

Was it really necessary to explain this? “A piece could fall out and end up in the batter.”

She blinked at him, leaving the impression she still didn’t understand his point. “But you still like my hair, right?” Her long blonde curls were pulled into a careless bun. “It’s not too long?”

He took a deep breath. She could be so exhausting. “Your hair is beautiful.” Pulling her close, he wrapped his arms around her. “Don’t ever cut it.”

She smiled at him, kissed his chin. “I won’t.”

He glanced at the clock. It was only nine o’clock and he didn’t have to be at work until three. Tomorrow he was off, but the rest of the week he worked twelve hour shifts. Trevor seemed to be taking a back seat when it came to his duties at the gym lately. Maybe he was planning to quit. He hoped that was the case. Even though he’d barely worked there two years, he would be a shoo-in for the manager position.

“How do you know when to flip them?”

He pointed at the pancakes. “Watch the edges. When they look dry and the bubbles on the top start to pop, that’s when you flip them.”

“So, now?”

He nodded and watched as she flipped all three successfully. A small squeal escaped her lips when the last one hit the pan. He couldn’t help smiling with her. It took so little to make her happy.

As they ate, he asked, “Do you want to go shopping? I don’t have to work until three.”

She shrugged. “If you want to.” Lifting her fork to her mouth, she asked, “Where do you want to go?”

He wanted to go to Ritz’s Music, which was in the mall, to get a new guitar. “The mall.”

“Definitely. Did you think I wouldn’t go?”

They ate quietly and he tried to think of something else to say that would make her happy. He’d really lost his cool with her over the weekend. Brooke got married and he didn’t go. He could’ve lied to her and told her he and Sadie broke up. Being his twin, she would have seen right through his lie. Instead, he’d taken out his frustration on Sadie, calling her names, telling her he hated her, pointing out how he’d chosen her over his own sister. He gave her a black eye, and was pretty sure there were injuries he couldn’t see. The one thing he truly regretted was telling her he wished she would have stayed with Aaron.

Life wasn’t easy by any means, but going through it without Sadie would be worse. She gave him a reason to try. He needed to prove he was worthy of her and her love. There was a time in his life he never would have imagined thinking that. He be worthy of her. But now, given the relationship they shared, the ups and downs they faced, he knew people said she could do better. Or she would be better off without him.

Maybe she would be. He had missed the signs she had alcohol poisoning. At least he had the sense to call Jenny that night. She could have been dead by the time he got home from his show. She hated having a babysitter, as she called it, but it was for her own good. The suicide talk had subsided, but he could never be sure. If she would get a job, maybe she would feel better about herself.

Today, shopping could possibly do the trick.

“Maybe this weekend you and Jenny can go down to Michigan Avenue and shop.”

Her eyes went wide. “Seriously?”

He smiled and nodded.

“Just me and her? Without you?”

He nodded again.

“Seriously? Me and Jenny? No Trevor? You’re gonna let me go downtown with just Jenny?”

“Well, if Trevor wants to go, I guess he could. And I want you to take the train.”

She waved her fork in the air. “Whatever. I’ll walk if I have to!” Her smile faded. “Why are you letting me go?”

“What do you mean?”

She sighed, set her fork on the edge of her plate. “You don’t let me do things like that. Especially not with Jenny.”

He met her eyes, narrowed them slightly. “I can try, can’t I?”

“Try what?”

“Try to make things better.”

They stared at each other for a moment, and he figured she was making a mental list of the things he could do to make life better. Something about having this money now, the financial stressors gone, made him feel better about his ability to take care of her. Even if it was technically her money.

She was sick with addiction. He told her she would go to rehab when this money came, but neither had mentioned it. After he buttered her up by loosening his grip on her every move he’d suggest it. He’d do it in a loving moment, let her know his concern was genuine. The way things were now, she saw rehab as a way he tried to control her. And if she didn’t want to get better for herself, it wouldn’t matter how much time she spent there.

She stood and grabbed the plates from the table. He grabbed her wrist. “I love you.”

She smiled, but it didn’t meet her eyes. “I love you, too.”

He let go, and she went to the kitchen. She reappeared, looking like she wanted to say something. He raised an eyebrow and waited.

“We never kiss. You know, like make out.”

He chuckled. “Make out?”

Her smile was beautiful. “Yeah, like in high school.” She giggled. “Just kiss, and that’s it.”

He held his arm out; she came to him, his arm sliding around her narrow waist. “Two things. First, who did you just make out with in high school? And second, what’s the point in just making out?”

She giggled, dropped to his lap. Snaking her arms around his neck, she touched her nose to his. “Tyler and I just made out, until…well, until we started doing other stuff. And there were other guys. Making out is nice. You know someone really likes you if they can kiss you that long without having sex.”

“What other guys?”  

“What?”

“What other guys did you make out with in high school?”

Her cheeks flushed, her eyes fell. “None.”

“That’s what I thought. Not even Josh?”

She scrunched her nose. “No. I’m sure he would’ve liked to, but no.”

“I know he would’ve liked to.”

She rested her head on his shoulder. “Did you like me then? When Josh liked me?”

He sighed and weighed his options. If he told her the truth, her feelings would be hurt. She developed a crush on him around the time they graduated high school, but he didn’t feel that way for her. In fact, he didn’t feel anything until about a year after they started dating. Even then, his thoughts were often somewhere else. But the way she loved him was exceptional, and he started missing her after spending leave with her. Who’d ever thought, five years later, it would turn into this?

All he wanted was to make Jenny mad by being with Sadie.

“I thought about you all the time.” This was the truth. She didn’t need to know his thoughts centered on having sex with her. She was beautiful, after all. He didn’t know a guy who hadn’t fanaticized about having sex with her.

She giggled and kissed him once. “Can we make out? Like we’re in high school?”

“Thought we were going to the mall?”

“Just for a little bit?” Her voice was small, like a child begging for one more ride on the merry-go-round, and he had to give in.

Something from near the end: 

There had been a time when Jenny thought this day would never come.

Two years had nothing on forever. That’s what she and Alex told each other to get through the last few weeks before he left? The ring he’d placed on her left hand to signify how their love would never end had seemed true at the time.

Jenny never imagined so much could happen in two short years.

She breathed in the baby-sweet scent of her daughter’s hair, her heart filling with all the regret that can be acquired in such a short time. Yes, two years is a long time, and no, it had nothing on forever. But when you’re apart from someone you love, it’s an eternity. It gives you ample time to fill your mind with doubt and anxiety and questions of your own self-worth.

Angel was asleep next to Jenny, her breaths even and perfectly measured. She arrived earlier to Jackie’s house and spent the day with Angel. It had been far too hot for the park, so instead they went to an indoor playground and Dairy Queen afterward. When they came home, she bathed her own daughter for the first time in nearly two years. In fact, Alex may have been there the last time she gave Angel a bath.

Jenny turned her head to see the clock. Alex was due in town late tonight, maybe around midnight, and she asked him to call no matter the time to make arrangements for the morning. She had specifically said morning. The sooner she got this done, the sooner she could relax and feel this stress dissolve.

She gently slid her arm from under Angel, careful not to wake her. The little girl drew a ragged breath, but returned to her normal cadence.

Creeping out of the bedroom quietly, she made her way to the living room where Jackie had laid out a blanket and pillow for her. She got comfortable and pulled the cordless phone to her chest, waiting for it to ring.

Less than an hour later, it did.

“Hello?” she said, her voice suddenly choked with emotion.

“Jenny?” Alex’s voice came across the line, sounding as she remembered it, not as it had when she called him in that hospital across the world.

“Alex?”

“How are you?”

Jenny breathed in deep. “Good. How are you?”

“Fine. Glad to be home.” He cleared his throat. “How are Angel and the boys?”

His mind filled with the images of Alex playing with Angel and her nephews, and her dreams of what a wonderful father he would be. “They’re good.”

“Were you sleeping?”

“No. I was waiting for your call.”

There was uncertainty in his voice. “Can you see me tonight?”

She sat up. “Tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess.”

“If you wanna wait….”

“Wait? No, I can see you tonight.”

He sounded relieved. “Ok, good. Do you remember that park we went to that one time? When we had the picnic?”

“On the lake?”

“Yeah, there. How about in, like, forty-five minutes?”

“Ok. I’ll see you there.”

Forty-five minutes later, Jenny pulled off East Lake Drive into the parking lot to the park. There was one car in the lot and she hoped it was Alex. As she pulled into a spot near it, Alex got out of the driver’s seat of the other car.

His blond hair was considerably longer, falling almost to his shoulders, but the same sky blue eyes she had once loved shone in the moonlight. He came to her car door and opened it. Taking her hand, he led her out of the car and drew her into an embrace.

She let her arms go around him, taking heed to the familiarity of his touch. Had it really been two years? Being here now, seeing him, feeling him, smelling him, it seemed it was just yesterday she said goodbye.

No, two years had nothing on forever.

“Alex. God, I’ve missed you so much.”

He pulled back slightly, met her eyes. “I’ve missed you, too. You look beautiful. Better than I remember.”

“You, too. I forgot….”

He smiled, and her heart melted. “I forgot, too, but now, seeing you here, holding you….”

She nodded, well aware of all the emotions surging through her. “I know.”

“Let’s go by the water.”

They walked hand-in-hand to the shore. The moon hung low in the sky, reflected off the still waters of Lake Springfield. City lights shone in the distance on this hot summer night. Jenny had no reservations in the moment when they sat together, facing each other, still holding hands.

She smiled, suddenly feeling apprehensive. “Two years really isn’t that long.”

“Seems like it was just yesterday that I left.”

They studied each other, Jenny reflecting on all that had happened since the last time they were together. “So much has happened….”

His gaze fell. “I know.” His eyes lifted, but they were shadowed now. “Things that can’t be undone.”

Corey’s face entered Jenny’s mind, and she quickly dismissed it. Alex was home. She had waited for this day for two years, and now it was here. How could she have ever forgotten him? He was more beautiful than she remembered, with a new depth to his eyes, making him seem older, wiser.

“Jenny, there are some things--”

“I know.” She looked down at their hands linked together and wondered why she ever doubted his love for her. He was going to give her a chance to explain. Understanding was one of his distinguishing qualities. He hadn’t judged her before. Why would he start now?