Big News

So today I posted on Facebook that I had big news.  I should've known that everyone would assume it meant I got some sort of book deal.  Well, folks, that's not the case.  Which now makes my Big News seem not so big.  And maybe it's not.  

Before we get any further, let me clear up any other misconceptions: I am not pregnant (not trying).  I did not get a new job (not looking).  I didn't buy a new house (since November, at least), or a new car (I wish!).  I am not getting married or divorced.  My kids haven't been accepted to any Ivy League schools.

If you've lost interest at this point, that's fine.  You can go.

If you're still here, then I am pleased to tell you my Big News.  Over the last few days I have taken stock of my life and realized something: I cannot be everything to everyone.

What?! Seriously? That's the big news?  Yeah, sorry.  Not that exciting, but hang out a minute and I'll explain.

I wear several hats on a daily basis- mom, wife, social worker, supervisor, friend, daughter, sister, sister in law, daughter in law, Girl Scout leader, writer, school board member, Christian, avid reader, cook, housekeeper, chauffeur, personal shopper, family organizer, and the list goes on and on.  I have forever felt the need to fill my plate until things are falling off the edge (and I'm not just talking about when I go to a buffet).  Does it make me a better person because I am so busy?  Does it make me better than anyone else?  No.  

So what does it make me?  Stressed.  Stressed to the point of screaming and tears sometimes.  When my kids are sick and I am three months behind at work and there's a Girl Scout crisis and no food in the house and even if there was when would I cook it because Jason has a game and Caileigh has cheerleading and Jeff is working overtime and I have no clean underwear and OMG I forgot to pick up your prescription and why on earth do people think they can show up on my porch with money for a field trip that was due two weeks ago when I am trying to cram a couch in my doorway.....  

Did I lose you?  Well, welcome to my world.  My mind is constantly spinning in a million different directions.

I cannot be everything to everyone.

I am only one person.

One person who tries to be everything to everyone.

  

I have decided that my kids need me more than you.  Yes, you.  And I need me more than you need me.  I need to pay attention to my own needs more than yours.  

So what does this really mean?

Not much.

I am still gonna go to work.  I am still going to be involved in Girl Scouts (though anticipate a change at the end of the school year).  I will still be there when my extended family and close friends need me, because I need you too.  But this also means that I will not bend over backwards to make everyone happy.  Don't faint when I tell you no, because it's going to happen.  

What about writing, Sarah?

Good question, Sarah.

I love writing.  In February, I am taking a week off work to focus on querying the works I already have completed.  Currently I have no manuscripts or queries out there.  I'll never get published that way.  I am working on a revision of an earlier work in the meantime. 

That being said, I should also mention that I have applied to the MSW program at UIUC.  I don't know if I'll be accepted or not, but if I am, writing will take a backseat while I am in school.  I could still get a book offer after February, but I can't bank on that.  Competing a graduate degree is something I can bank on.

Sorry if you felt mislead by my announcement of Big News, but to me, and those closest to me, this is big news.  It's time I pay more attention to things that matter and less attention to all the noise.